


The Signature

by cinomarsh



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: Artificial Intelligence, Fear, Gen, Human Experimentation, Internal Conflict, Loss, Moral Ambiguity, Murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-12
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-06-07 22:53:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6828424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinomarsh/pseuds/cinomarsh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cave's last request for Caroline is sitting on his desk. All she has to do is sign. So why does she feel so strange?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Signature

Caroline sat rigidly in the chair behind the huge desk, her hands balled into fists on the cold mahogany.

It felt wrong to sit here, in his chair, behind his desk. This seat didn't belong to her. It belonged to Mr. Johnson. But he wasn't there.

It had only been a few days since he died. Caroline had sat next to him every day in the hospital. She'd slept in the chair next to his bed, put Greg in charge of the place. He was the only employee left Cave had told her he trusted. His word had been good enough for her, and besides, she wasn't about to leave him alone. It had been bad enough when he'd always needed her to get his pain medication and help him walk around, but watching him die in a hospital bed was a whole other level of hell. He hadn't even wanted to go to the hospital, but Caroline had forced him into it after a particularly scary coughing fit. She'd thought he would never catch his breath.

Every day she'd sat there she'd been preparing for the worst. She'd known he was dying; she'd known from the start. But it was so much easier to plan running the facility on her own while he was still there. She had held his hand until he fell asleep every night and had been the first thing he saw when he woke up. Until he didn't. She had felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room.

She had taken a couple days off after finally leaving the hospital. She hadn't really wanted to, she would've preferred to bury herself in her work, but she had reminded herself that it was what people did when someone close to them died. It would look suspicious to the remaining employees if she went back so quickly. Everyone knew how close she and Cave had been. So she went back to her apartment, alone. It was a little bit easier to ignore the weight in her chest when she was there. Of course, it wasn't as if Cave had never stayed there, but it was easy for Caroline's subconscious to pretend he was still at his own home or working, to postpone the great loss she knew she would feel the moment she set foot inside of Aperture again.

She never cried. Every time her brain had imagined his face in the street or his voice on the tv, she had told herself that he was dead, that he was gone. She wouldn't break. She knew that was not what Cave would've wanted of her. That was what mattered.

Being inside Aperture without him felt like a blow to the back of the head. It was as if she was always waiting for him to show up, to tell everyone he'd been running late but that he had a brilliant idea that would make up for lost time. But, of course, he wouldn't. If Caroline was the facility's backbone, then Cave had been it's beating heart, and now she was all that was left. The whole place was filled with a cold, sickening emptiness that threatened to swallow her whole if she couldn't keep her composure.

She was having a very hard time keeping her composure as she looked at the document on the desk.

"GENETIC LIFEFORM AND DISC OPERATING SYSTEM PROJECT" it was titled.

She read the whole thing over, very quickly. She read it over again, slower this time. Then she just sat there, staring at the page as though the black marks on it were in a language she didn't recognize.

She couldn't believe it.

Aperture Science had built Artificial Intelligence. And Cave hadn't told her.

She'd never questioned the plans he wouldn't show her, or the times she'd seen scientists hurrying out of his office when she'd walked in. She'd figured it hadn't been important. Nothing like this.

It wasn't even just a robot. It was a receptacle for a real human brain and all it's data. Someone could essentially transfer themselves into a machine, permanently. It was absolutely revolutionary. It could preserve a mind for centuries, millennia. It could've made Cave a fortune and saved him all that pain. It had come too late.

She stared at the bottom of the page. There were a couple sections for the information about the person being uploaded into the machine, and two dotted lines at the bottom: one for the subject's signature, and one for the signature of the person authorizing the transfer.

Caroline rarely saw forms like this at Aperture. Most employees signed their safety away the moment they shook hands with Cave. But this was different. He'd wanted to mark the occasion, wanted the person in this machine to be special, not just another test subject.

And he'd already written her name.

She could recognize his printing as easily as her own. It was clear he'd filled this out after his condition started getting worse. His letters were less clear than they had been before, but they were unmistakably his. He'd filled in her name, address, telephone number, hair colour, eye colour. He'd signed his name on the dotted line. The one for the patient was the only one left blank.

She could hardly shake herself out of the shock. He wanted to put her inside a gigantic AI, one that could run the entirety of Aperture Science by itself forever. He wanted her to stay and take care of his legacy. She could do science for centuries, without him. She was astonished by the sheer immensity of the request.

She was even more astonished when she realized that she wasn't sure if she wanted to do it or not.

There was something about the idea that made her skin crawl. Leaving her body to expire on an operating table while her mind was trapped into a computer... She didn't know if she could muster up the courage.

 _Even for him?_ She asked herself silently. Wouldn't it be a betrayal to him, to serve his vision tirelessly until his dying request and then back out? She didn't know, she didn't know and this was all too much too soon. The ticking of the clock on the wall and the sound of her own breathing suddenly made the room seem smaller, as if it were closing in on her.

She decided she needed to take a walk.

She pushed herself up from the desk stiffly, the snap of her heels on the floor echoing in the empty room as she made for the door. She closed it behind her quietly, out of habit.

She didn't give her old desk, which sat just to the right of the door to Cave's office, more than a glance as she walked by. She knew if she did she would start thinking about when she first came to work here, all bright-eyed and in awe, and she knew those memories would upset her. She couldn't afford that right now. She needed a clear head.

As she turned and started down the long, grey hallway, she could hear the murmur of the scientists in each room she passed. Every time she neared a room the volume dropped, like the ocean receding from the shore before sliding forward again. They were apprehensive of her.

 _Why wouldn't they be?_ She reminded herself.

She had no idea where she was going. She knew she had to discipline herself, focus, form a rational decision, but whenever her mind was clear enough to think properly, she saw something out of the corner of her eye, or on a wall, or in a room she passed that sent her thoughts spiralling away again. She couldn't get a grip on herself.

She wasn't used to this. Anyone who had ever worked with Caroline knew that if there was one word that described her, it was efficient. She was calculating, diligent, sharp as a tack. Scattered thoughts didn't suit her at all.

She continued to walk until, almost of their own accord, her feet stopped her in front of a broom closet. Her stomach twisted ever so slightly, and for a moment Caroline was confused. It was an ordinary looking wooden door, she didn't know why it had drawn her attention. It wasn't different fro-

Then she remembered.

Hugh Thompson.

_Caroline and Cave walked down the hallway on either side of a tall man in a dark jacket. He held a clipboard in his hands and was looking at the floor tiles as if they had somehow managed to offend him._

_"Well we're glad to have you, Mr. Thompson. Health and Safety inspectors are always welcome at Aperture Science." Cave told him, Caroline nodding her agreement._

_"Don't think being nice to me is going to help you pass your inspection, Mr. Johnson. I take great pride in my work." Mr. Thomson replied sourly._

_Cave shot Caroline a "get a load of this guy" look when the inspector couldn't see._

_Caroline looked around as they walked, checking all the separate rooms for people. All the labs on this hallway had been closed for the morning, so no one would be around until the afternoon. It was almost noon now._

_She gave a discreet nod to Cave, who looked down the hall to where the door to a broom closet stood open._

_"Aperture Science has a very strict safety code, and has since it's founding. The wellbeing of our employees is our top priority." Caroline lied, getting the inspector's attention while Cave pulled something out of his back pocket._

_"Yes, well- !" Mr. Thompson's reply was cut off by Cave reaching around him and holding a cloth to his lips. Before he knew it, he was out of consciousness and had fallen onto the cold floor._

_"Tie him up." Cave barked, grabbing another cloth from his pocket and using it to gag their prisoner._

_"Yes, sir." Caroline replied, grabbing a length of rope from the closet and binding his hands and feet. Cave hauled the fallen man into the closet and stared at him for a moment, Caroline at his side._

_"Do we have to just leave him in here?" She asked. "Couldn't we get rid of him now?"_

_"It'll take too long. We'll come back for him later. We've got science to do, and besides," Cave gave a brief chuckle, "he's not going anywhere."_

_They both gave the twisted figure a long final glance before Cave muttered "bastard", slammed the door and locked it._

Caroline remembered it like it was yesterday.

They had gone back for him, later that night. He'd been awake when they'd found him, all wide-eyed and panicking. She'd watched Cave strangle him, watched his eyes dull and his head flop back. They'd burned his body and gone home.

She was surprised to remember his face so clearly after all these years.

She'd known it had been necessary. Mr. Johnson had told her that if anyone outside of the company made their work and methods public, they'd be shut down. No other company had the guts to do what Aperture did, but Health and Safety workers only saw dozens of violations. They couldn't have let him expose them.

A few scientists passed her in the hall looking confused but not nearly brave enough to ask what she was doing staring at a broom closet.

They'd both been younger then, she knew. She'd reasoned with herself a long time ago that it had all been essential to their work. Her boss knew what he was doing. It was all for the best.

Caroline exhaled when she realized she hadn't done so in a while, letting the fists curled tightly at her sides turn back into open hands. She was calm. She had no reason not to be. She told herself that it was the memory of Cave and nothing more that had disturbed her. She turned and continued down the hall.

She couldn't quite pin down her thoughts as she walked. They were still floating around in her head and she couldn't organize them. She needed a wake-up call.

Caroline found a washroom, went inside and locked the door behind her. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was tied back. She usually didn't tie her hair back but wearing it down just hadn't looked right this morning. She looked old like this. She could see every crack and crevice in her face in the unflattering lighting of the washroom. She didn't know if she'd ever felt older than she did right now.

She turned on the cold water in the sink, leaned forward and splashed her face a few times. She wiped some of the water off her face and locked eyes with herself in the mirro-

_Caroline's own brown eyes stared back at her from the mirror, but somehow they looked different than before. More intense, more... real, somehow. She broke away, looking down at her arms and shirt. She was covered in blood._

_Cave had asked her to do him a pretty big favor. He'd been blackmailing an employee for "over a damn year" to protect some fairly substantial and incriminating information on Aperture Laboratories. He was getting concerned that the employee in question's conscience was starting to kick in and that he was gonna go to the cops anyway. He couldn't have that, he'd told her. He'd asked her to take care of it for him._

_She'd called him into the office over the speakers. She'd told him Cave needed him for something. He'd shut the door behind him and asked her what she wanted. She'd picked up the letter opener off of Cave's desk and..._

_She furiously began to scrub the blood off her arms. She'd never be able to wear this shirt again, that was for sure._

_She'd left the man's body lying in the office, as she'd been instructed. Cave had told her he had a plan to deal with it. She knew she'd be safe; it wasn't as if he was gonna let her get caught doing something he'd asked her to do._

_She watched as the soap and water in the sink went from white to pink to vivid red as she rubbed her skin. Some of the blood had dried during her walk here from the office. Thank god it had been cold today and her wearing a heavy coat and gloves to cover herself had gone unnoticed. She looked over at the door for the third time. It was still locked._

_She picked and scraped at her arms until they were almost entirely clean. She was having a hard time getting the last of it out from under her fingernails when there was an insistent knock at the door. Caroline jumped against her will._

_"You alright there, kid?" It was Cave's voice. He must've asked someone where she'd gone._

_"Yes sir, Mr. Johnson." She replied, pulling her top off over her head and putting on a clean one she'd hidden in her jacket. And she meant it. She felt fine. A little more jumpy than normal but other than that she felt alright, good even._

_She put her jacket back on, hid the bloodied shirt and gloves in an inside pocket and opening the door. Cave was leaning against the wall looking a little out of place. He smiled when he saw her._

_"Caroline, there you are! Listen, I wanted to ask you about that, er, extra project I gave you. Everything according to plan?" He asked._

_"It went fine, sir. No problem." She told him honestly._

_Cave laughed._

_"Atta girl," He grinned, wrapping his arm around her shoulders, "knew I could count on you!"_

Caroline looked down at her hands, at the sink. No trace of blood, although she could nearly smell it in the air. She'd left the tap on.

The reasoning she'd been using for years arose in her like muscle memory: "I had to do it. He was a threat to science. I had to." She knew this, she believed it. So why was it coming back now? The blood on her arms, the look on Cave's face... She knew it had been what she had to do, so why now? Why couldn't she think straight?

She turned off the tap and left the washroom, walking more quickly than before.

She wasn't paying any attention to where she was headed. She knew Aperture like the back of her hand, she didn't have to. She could find her way back to Cave's office blindfolded.

Her brain felt thick and slow, and she was frustrated. She needed to make a decision, the biggest decision of her life. She had to make the right choice.

She turned a corner, almost meeting the eye of a scientist who hurriedly averted his gaze and sped past her. The employees nearer to this part of the facility tended to be more nervous than most. This was the observation wing, where the human testing initiative took place.

She wasn't sure she should be here today. She was actually quite sure she shouldn't, but she didn't have another plan. She had seen the testing tracks a million and one times, helped design them herself. When it was still getting started, it had been her job to take down the results from those first subjects. Nothing in there could shock her.

She pushed open the doors at the end of the hall. A couple scientists sat staring at the glass wall that allowed them to see into the chamber, their arms resting on the table in front of it. They jumped at the sound, disrupting the papers lying in front of the switchboard on the table. They swivelled in their chairs to see her.

"Miss Caroline," one ventured, "what are you doing here?"

"She's obviously here to watch the tests," the other one hissed, "why else would she be here?"

Caroline nodded vaguely and wandered towards the huge pane of glass that separated them from the test.

A test subject was making their was through a complicated sequence of lasers and turrets that Caroline knew fairly well. She could see the solution to it almost immediately. This test subject was testing Aperture's patented Long Fall Boots and wasn't doing too badly; they had to carry a weighted storage cube across an acid pit to a button, and they were generally managing to avoid the more obvious hazards. Caroline watched as they slipped on the moving platform, flinging the cube and falling into the toxic ooze below. They didn't flail and cry out or anything. The boots must've weighed them down.

She watched as one of the scientists (the rude one) wrote "boots too heavy?" on his clipboard.

The door at the beginning of the chamber opened and a new test subject walked in, wearing the same orange jumpsuit and boots, but his expression was different. His eyes were red and his brow knitted. He surveyed the room and looked as though he could pass out at any moment. He had bruises on his face and arms and he just looked so...

_Cave and Caroline approached the viewing window of the test chamber. It was a perfect cube, with no doors or anything. One woman, wearing a test subject jumpsuit, sat in the middle of the floor. She looked terrified._

_Cave looked from the subject to Caroline and gave a nod. His assistant flipped on the microphone sitting on the table in front of them._

_"Miss Jane Harding," she said, "do you know why you're here?"_

_The woman's gaze darted frantically around the room. She couldn't find the speaker the voice had come from._

_"No, I-I don't, there must be a mistake, I work in Robotics here and-"_

_"There has been no mistake." Caroline replied, her voice calm._

_"She's lying," Cave muttered beside her, "she knows what this is about."_

_Caroline nodded and leaned a little closer to the mic._

_"I will only ask you one more time, Ms. Harding. Do you know why you're here?"_

_The woman looked around a bit more before locating the speaker high on a wall. She stared at it is if it was the one watching her._

_"No, please, I don't-"_

_"You stole a prototype from Aperture's Laboratories, with the intent of selling it." Caroline cut her off._

_Jane Harding paled horribly. Cave clenched his fists._

_"No! No I didn't, I wasn't going to sell it!"_

_"Lying is only going to make this take longer. Tell me where the prototype is."_

_"I don't know!" She cried. It was pitiful._

_Cave scoffed._

_"Bull. You got the panels set up?" He asked._

_"Yes sir."_

_Caroline pressed a button on the switchboard in front of her. Within the chamber, a panel in the wall across from Ms. Harding slid up to reveal a turret, it's tiny sensor light pointed squarely at her._

_The faintest "hello" could be heard from it before it began to fire._

_Ms. Harding managed to scramble out of the way before the bullets hit her where they'd been aimed, but she was not in any way accustomed to testing. As the panel slid back into place, it was clear that she hadn't emerged unscathed. There was a deep wound on her right calf where a bullet had lodged itself. It was bleeding like hell._

_Ms. Harding let out a wail that ripped through the air, followed by a series of whimpers as she tried ineffectually to stop the blood with her sleeve._

_Caroline leaned in to the mic again._

_"Where is the prototype, Ms. Harding?" She asked, a new, subtle edge to her voice._

_The crumpled woman made a few more choked noises of distress before replying._

_"Black Mesa- they offered me a lot of money... and I sold it to them. I'm sorry! I'm sorry... Please..." She broke into sobs._

_Caroline could practically sense Cave clenching his jaw. She looked up at him questioningly. He just kept glaring at the glass. After a minute he locked eyes with his assistant and shook his head. She flicked on the microphone one more time._

_"Your input has been appreciated."_

_Caroline began to push a multitude of buttons on the switchboard. First, a turret fired to the right of Ms. Harding. Then that one closed and another opened to her left. The woman frantically attempted to avoid the flurry of bullets as one door after the other opened and closed, sending her darting all around the chamber. She was screaming, crying out for help, but Caroline wasn't concerned._

_She had to tire out sometime._

-miserable.

Caroline suddenly wasn't feeling like watching the test anymore. She turned on her heel and left the room.

Out in the hallway, she leaned against a wall to try to collect herself.

How could she have been so calm about this for so long? She knew it was all in the name of science, yes, of course, but it hadn't even been difficult to do what she'd done. How could it have always been so easy? And why was it all coming back now?

She knew the answer, deep in her gut.

Cave.

He'd always made it so easy. She'd never had to worry when he'd been there. He'd clean it up, he'd find the money, he'd figure it out. Nothing was impossible, and she'd loved being a part of that. She'd loved being treated as an asset, being valued. She'd loved the work they'd done, the work that everything they did was for. She'd loved-

Mr. Johnson had built his own world around himself. It hadn't always been pretty or easy, but it had been his. He'd done so much in his life, and Caroline had been there for all of it. This incredible man had chosen her to continue his work, to take it from his hands when he couldn't hold it anymore, but...

What if it was never what she'd thought it was? What if it hadn't been worth it? Things felt so different now that he was gone... She felt a sick twist in her stomach. What if everything had been worthless? What if-

No. _**No.**_ ****

The science they'd done, the leaps they'd made, that was real. You couldn't argue with the results. They hadn't been able to save Cave, but they'd built artificial intelligence. They'd done the impossible. She could take advantage of it or she could let it go to waste.

She started off towards Cave's office, practically running. She could almost hear Cave's voice in her ear, "That's my girl, I always said you were stubborn, I knew you'd come through for me!" Something in her wanted to just get it over with.

She burst into the office and ran over to the desk. She took a long look at the paper still sitting there. She didn't want to mull it over anymore. She wanted to make the right decision.

She picked up the pen on the table and hurriedly signed her name.

At first glance, the swooping C at the beginning of her name looked a lot like Cave's.


End file.
